Dancing with Darkness
by Selene08
Summary: Alucard's twisted obsession with his master and his dark fantasies of her in his arms. A twisted love hate relationship they share that is told as an epic love story. Going from wistful dreams to a possible relationship of a slave and his master. RxR!
1. Prologue

_Hi there everyone! I'm back...but not for long. I recently got a review for this story and she told me that it was a bit flat. Well seeing that its my aspiration to be a writer for a living and even though its fanfiction I figured I ought to do something to fix that little problem. So thank you very much La-Reina-Ahoui for pointing that certain aspect out. I owe you one! Hopefully I kept the tense in the correct oder. Also a special thanks to Alucard Van Hellsing for uploading these fics for me. For you see, my puter-san crashed the other day so I'm forced to write this on my step dad's compie and he doesn't have Microsoft Word therefore I can only write in my e-mail. But thankfully I have a good enough friend to upload this for me. Thanks Rou-kun!_

_Hope you all like this revised version much better than the last because I certainly do! Enjoy Alucard's twisted obsession with his love for Integra and please remember to review ! Constructive criticism is always welcomes of course, but could you please not mindless flame me? For they will be used to burn smelly gym socks. Happy night everyone!_

_-L!z_

_**Disclaimer: **__Unfortunately, I do not own Hellsing. __It belongs to Kohta Hirano...lucky bastard._

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Prologue

Love...

...Ah, yes love...such a fickle thing if you stop to properly observe it. I remember love, quite fondly in actuality for a monster such as I. I remember the gentle strokes of soft hands on my body. Caressing, teasing, and holding such a loving warmth to them it was almost surreal. The delicate scent of skin that was so soft and so smooth to the touch. How it arched up towards me in craving of my spindly hands attention. The fragrance of delicately oiled hair was always lovely to bury my nose in as I nuzzled into them. Brushing my lips across a bare shoulders and holding such a well sculpted body had always been a treat.

But their bodies were not all that I treasured. I treasured the smiles countless women gave me. Relished in delight as they curled up next to me and demanded my attention. Craving me, wanting me, desiring me, and being happy to be with me. I remember the way it made my heart soar with utterly happiness as they laughed pleasantly with me. And the courting! It made the feelings of 'butterflies in my stomach' become like a chaotic vortex of giddiness that had me pacing around my castle in a quest to make them mine. To this day I even remember the punch-drunk feeling as I danced under the stars with my mate, my love.

Yes, love...such a beautiful concept...

...And such an ugly one as well.

As I recalled with much despair the feelings of complete and utter sadness as each and every one of them left me. At first -if memory serves me right- I remember the feelings of fury at their defiance. How dare they leave me?! Just who did these _wenches _think they were? But that fury soon subsided quickly into a complete state of depressive sadness. And soon over time developed into nothing more than outright bitterness. Though despite everything I cannot help but remember how each and everyone one of them left me.

Sometimes it was quietly in the night. With the shuffling of clothes being stuff quickly into a bag and a small note of parchment left next to me on my bedside table. Other times it merely ended up in a bit of a shouting match. A few -but rare- times I actually caught them lying with another (that one remains a personal favorite of mine.) Oh and let me not forget the countless arguments and strains I had with them just to end up with a slap to the face and a door slamming in the distance. So many endeavorer's, so many betrayals...sometimes women purely disgusted me. You could not win with them and yet you could not seem to live with them.

Recounting it now, I suppose in reality only a handful of women in my five hundred years have ever stood out in the crowd to me. Whilst all the others, their features did nothing more than blend in with the next one. And their personalities were all the same, nothing new, nothing fresh. And even with the few women who had stood out in my eyes it had ended up in nothing but mere disaster. I suppose, looking back on it now, that it was just not meant to be. Either that or God has a sense of humor.

After many years of searching for the right one, it hit me...women are ruthless, cruel, evil, destructive, and ultimately the downfall of men such as myself. No wonder why so many men committed themselves to the Church. It gave them an easy out, of course...that just had to be the reason. Because I knew for sure, I was better off without them altogether. But, being what I am; lust -of course- got the better of me. I shared the bed of countless women so many countless times. It gave me gratifying pleasure to know that it was I who stripped them away of their innocence. And the sensations of pure joy to take them each one by one. Though, it was nothing more than one night stands...nothing more and nothing less. For I had shared my bed but never my heart. For it had become far to delicate, like the tenderness of a flower skin.

But then _she _came along.

Sir Integra Fairbrooks Wingates Hellsing, head of the Hellsing Family and director of the Hellsing Organization. She is a woman of great power and confidence and a pillar of strength and intelligence. She was my master who used her wits and cunning on an hourly basis. With the ability to keep me in place whether by force of harsh words or a silver bullet was a gleeful prospect. For any contact with her...any form of 

acknowledgment made me want her all the more.

For you see, Integra was the women whom I had lusted for for many years now. To think of the feel of her body on mine made me giddy. To have her caress my hair and whisper sweet honeyed words in my ear made my eyes glaze over. To be able to touch her skin with freed hands and to loop my hands through my hair had been a reoccurring fantasy of mine. I wanted her to smile at me loving, to laugh happily with me. And in turn, I would give her the world. Anything she desired: lands, wealth, castles, servants...it didn't matter. It would all be hers if she so wished it. I would go so far as to give her my soul if she truly wanted it. And as I closed my eyes late in the day I would envision us together for all eternity. Dancing and frolicking under the stars. Just us - forever and for always.

But I knew it could never be. Who would ever want a monster such as I? But still, one can dream up such perverse make believe worlds. Can we not? Yes, yes we can. For dream I do. For who has the power to decide what we dream? Just who tells us what we may or may not do? Humans? Dogs? Society? God? Humph! God...now that's rich. And as I wander the mansion of that drab mansion alone in the night. Or sitting upon my throne alone with nothing more than a glass of fine blood-wine. Or even if its sitting out atop the roofs and gazing up at the beautiful moon I cannot help myself. I still dream of her...in my own make believe world.

Though sometimes I wish desperately that I could end those horrible dreams. Dreams of kissing her soft peach lips or twirling her hair through my fingers. And even perhaps simply nuzzling her shoulders or neck with my nose. Oh how I longed to catch her lips in mine with a passionate kiss. How I longed to pull her close to me and simply hold her and indulge in her bittersweet fragrance of lilac and cigar smoke mixed in with the destructive smell of gunpowder. I wanted to end them badly, to bore the images from my mind and be at peace. But the twisted insanity in me wished they would never end. That I would never wake up and stay in the dream world with her forever and for always. For I knew it was my only sanctuary from the true insanity that threatened to overwhelm me daily. And what's more, it was as close as I was going to get to her. To that lovely and absolutely gorgeous specimen of a woman.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

..._Alucard...?_ Her voice rang sweet and true in my mind. A small smile played on the corner of my lips at Integra's voice.  
_Yes, my master?_ I answered back and I could feel a small hint of annoyance riling up within her. I knew full well she hated it with a passion every time I was insider her delicate mind. For she may have been a women of steel. But when she closed her eyes at night, when she let go of herself...Integra Hellsing had nothing more than the heart and mind of a child who had lost their innocence at an early age.  
_  
Come to my office now...please._ I wanted to scoff as I heard her end her thought with a 'please.' As long as I had known Integra, she was never one to show mannerisms. She had no use for them after all. But I chuckled inwardly anyways. It seemed the Ice Queen_ did_ have some manners after all.  
_  
Of course, my master._ I felt Integra's lips give a small twitch of an almost smile at my reply. Ah yes, if their was one thing Integra loved - it was power. In all my years of seeing many a great leader pass before my eyes never had I seen such a person have such a thirst for control. We both knew full well she loved the feelings of being able to make me do anything she wanted me to. With a snap of her fingers she could command me to demolish an entire Round Table. To storm up to her Majesty, the Queen of England and spit right into her withered old face. to make me do anything and everything. For the controlling a powerful monster such as I always brought her such wicked pleasure. I had sighed often to myself every time I thought of that little fact. For not only would I do it, I would enjoy doing every minute of it. Because if I knew it made her happy...it I knew it would earn me just the smalled flicker of acknowledgment...I knew it was all worth it.

XXX

"Good evening, Master." I drawled as I appeared from the shadows before her. My voice was deep and sultry as it always was. And I could feel her irritation coming off her in waves by now.

"What took you so long?" She demanded without preamble as she snuffed out one of her putrid cigars. I sighed.

"Well that's a fine how-do-you-do, Master."

"Don't bait me, vampire." She retorted as I walked over and before her. "So why were you late?" My, my...what was this? Do I detect a hint of worry for my little Iron Maiden?

"Oh nothing, just simply lost in my own thoughts. Not worried are you?"

"Of course not." Integra replied quickly, _too _quickly it would seem. But I let it go, seeing the frustration in her eyes.

"Well then if that's the case. Pray tell me, Master, is something troubling you?" I asked in the most innocent tone I could muster for being what I am as I sat down in 

the chair before her desk. Integra merely rolled her eyes at me as she threw a pale yellow folder my way. I caught it easily and leafed through it.

"I don't have time for your games, Alucard-" Ah...I loved how she said my name. "-So can we please just get on with it already? Or is that too much to ask for from my pet?"

"Of course, Master...whatever Master wishes." I sneered. I despised how she called me 'pet.' But perhaps with time that might change...a wicked thought indeed.

"Good." She said as I watched her pick up another one of her cigars and light it. "With that being said, we've had three new sightings of as of late. I want you to head towards Acton, Cheshire and see what's going on. I doubt there will be too much of a problem for you. But we are lacking in soldiers right now and I don't want to risk getting anymore casualties. With that in mind, I expect you back here within a couple of hours. Restriction levels will probably not be of use to you tonight."

"Of course, Master." I replied once more as she took a calming drag of that horrible death stick. I loathed how she smoked. It was so unhealthy for a human such as she. I knew it would give her a deadly cancer one of these days. But perhaps she would become immune to it before that time would come. Oh yes, more wicked thoughts. With my tongue in my cheek I leafed through the documents to see just exactly who and what I would be dealing with. But that was merely a rouse, I cared not for the information.

Instead I had become fascinated on a different target. I was discreetly amusing myself by observing her beautiful cerulean eyes through the mess of jet black hair and top of the folder. Giving me a good cover to muse over her splendid features. So well sculpted and hardly flawed except by stress, smoke, and lack of good food and sleep. I found myself lost in those azure eyes that were hidden so horribly by owl-eyed glasses that entranced me with a hidden spark to them. Her father's spark, I could safely say was the only good thing she inherited from him. I fondly remembered her icy glare that she gave me so many a time during the night. It often sent a burning ache to my loins and sent a rippling shiver through me. Such elegant and graceful power made me attracted to her even more, the same way she held me in that stare of hers and-  
"Alucard!" Her voice cracked like a whip and I snapped to attention - smirking. There I go again...drifting off into my perverted dreams of her.

"Yes, my master?" I asked innocently and she sent me a glare.  
"You've been spacing out for quit sometime now - not that I mind. But what I do mind is that you keep looking at me like I'm a goddamn pork chop!" She cried angrily. I grinned a small Cheshire grin.

"Why Master, I was merely observing your beauty." I moved just in time to dodge the silver ash tray that flew out at me. "Now...now, Master...is that anyway to treat your pet?" To my surprise it was she who grinned wickedly.

"Yes, you are my pet...and a good pet you are. Therefore I'll make your orders simple." Integra smirked as she lit up a fresh cigar. "Search and destroy, my precious pet."  


I stood up and took of my hat and gave her a sweeping bow. "Why of course, my Master. Anything for my Master." I said - mockingly.

Integra blew out a sigh but the smirk remained on her lips. Her eyes became downcast and a pen filled her hand within a matter of seconds as she didn't bother to watch me turn and head for a portal in the wall. I noticed vaguely the paperwork had been getting quite enormous lately. But my paperwork musings and what the cause of it was were quicky interrupted when I heard the whispers of her mind echo through my head.

_Good luck. _

An unsaid farewell...yet another small acknowledgment for her.

"Well until later then." I called as I stepped into the portal and exited through the shadows. Her droplets of words still hung in the air and fell upon me in a bliss. I sighed to myself as I made my way to Acton. Good God, I do believe I was becoming obsessed with her.

XXX

When I arrived upon the village it was in complete and utter shambles. I forced back a grimace. Despite my fetish for destruction, I did hate how they mindlessly caused all this pain and suffering. Who were these freaks anyways to cause such an action? What did these people ever to do them? But I pushed such thoughts back from my way as I weaved through the debris that consisted of destroyed homes and torn apart limps that flowed in a river of tainted blood.

I stopped for the moment in the wreckage and sniffed the air. They were getting closer, I could feel it. With a reflex that had come to me so naturally it was as if I was drinking blood my hand slipped inside my duster pocket and extracted the beautiful machine that Walter had made me since my release from that awful dungeon. The Hellsing ARMS .454 Calsull Auto, quite possibly one of the most beautiful pieces of machinery Walter has ever created for me. Thirty-nine centimeters in length with custom made bullets and insignia. I gazed down at it fondly. My little pretty had served me well in the past and I knew it would be just as faithful for getting rid of this scum.

However, my thoughts soon became clouded once again of her. As of late they had begun to drive me utterly mad! Why should I, the No-Life King, let such a woman as her plague my thoughts? What gives her that right to that privilege? Had I not sworn to myself so many years ago after the death of Mina that I would not allow another woman captivate me so? I had absolutely not a clue in the world as I suddenly found myself confronted with the freak in front of me.

"H-h-hey...! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" He cried as he cringed away from me. I fought the urge to roll my eyes at him. He looked to be in his late teens with a small stuble running across his jaw and dressed in ratty street clothes. His mind and mouth were both dirty as well as his blood. He was babbling on and on yet I heard not his rubbish. Instead I was thinking of the faint blush that had appeared on Integra's cheeks the night before...

"Don't come any closer!" The boy cried, now this time I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up, punk." I remarked in a flat voice as I allowed the Calsull to run free and tear through each and everyone one of his ghouls. Hoping for a small battle to at least distract me from my thoughts of Integra. But it was to no avail as I watched the bullets rip through them all. I was disappointed in it though as I put in such little heart into my killing spree as I tried to figure out my own mind out...which proved to be not one of the easiest things to do on this Earth.

"Ragh…!Nygh...! Arghlallalala...!" The ghouls groaned to me with their arms raised up in a cannibalistic furry. Their features were not rotten and hollowed with bits and pieces of flesh missing from them. Their hair lay in wisps upon their foreheads and their clothes in tatters. Their smell was repugnant and made me gag, disgusting creatures. My thoughts were still clouded as I burrowed my way through them. Only one thought in my mind as I took down the freak:

_Could she love me back?_


	3. Chapter 2

_Hello everyone! Thank you so much for the reviews! I really hope you like this next chapter. Please read and review! See ya!_

_-Liz

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**Chapter 2**

An angel

_My _angel, an angel of pure beauty and grace. Such soft features and delicate attributes made her even more desirable. With a gloved hand I reached out and stroked her silky smooth skin. Brushing back the bangs of her hair from her face. That beautiful…beautiful face. Leaning down I inhaled deeply from her person. The scent was intoxicating and exhilarating.

Yes, Integra would make a good queen one of these days. I just knew it. I rested my head atop her head as I listened to the rhythmic beatings of her gentle heart. They were like a lullaby to my sore ears. Making me want to drift asleep and have her coo to me sweet nothings in my ears as she would hold me close.

Ugh, there I go again. Night dreaming of such perversions, such secret indulgences. I disgust even myself sometimes. I don't think I can remember how many times I have told myself over and over again not to think of her.

Then what the hell was I doing here? Here in her private quarters watching her as she slumbered so peacefully. Who was I to have that right? I was her servant, her obedient slave, her lap dog. That is who I am. And if she were to awaken to my touch who knows what I would do then. Would I merely say I felt a disturbance in her sleep and wanted to make sure if she was alright? Or would I simply press my cold dead lips to her own and proceed to take her as I so fantasized doing every single day?

Deep down inside I know which route I would take. The former, that is. How I know this? Simple, I have never counted myself as a coward but when it came to her, that stunning specimen of a woman, I was weak. Weak in knee and heart when I gazed upon her tender flesh. Integra Hellsing, since the age of sixteen has been my one and only weakness.

With one last caress of her hair, I sank down into the chair next to her bed. Crossing my long legs, I suppressed a groan of frustration. Propping my elbow on the arm rest, I placed my head in my hand. Ugh, she really was starting to get to me. No, that was an understatement. She already _had _me. And I had gladly handed myself over to her. Heart, soul, body, and mind included. Now all that seem to remain was _her _giving me all that she was.

My head was throbbing with frustration and despair. I loathed not being able to make her love me in return. Hell, I wasn't even sure if I did love her. I knew I lusted for her. But in the affairs of all men, love and lust have never ran in the same competition…_ever. _But what I did know was that she was in my thoughts and she was going out anytime soon.

I wondered to myself exactly what were my feelings for her. Sure, I had cared for her since she was of twelve years of age. I had done my best to watch over her and protect her from all harm. Guiding her and teaching her the ways of men and the world. And not to often giving her comfort when she needed it the most. Even if it was a simple word or smile. But then, as if no time at all passed, she had grown into a beautiful young woman. A teenager who had the look of once being flat to developing in such a short time.

For when I had first met her she was scrawny. With thin arms and skinny legs and a baby-fat face with glasses to big for her. She was flat as a pancake and her curves left much to be desired. Integra had matured so late that when she was sixteen was when she had her first menstruation cycle. Now _that _was four days out of my long life that I don't think I will _ever _forget.

Ah, I remember it as if it was yesterday…

_Sitting upon my throne, bored as ever I swirled a bit of wine with my gloved finger. Taking a sip of it, I set the wine down. Not caring to much for its fruits. Sighing to myself, I wonder if I should go bother with Walter and see how my old comrade is up to. The night is young and I'm as bored as ever. I-_

…_Wait, what's that smell? _

_My head snaps up and I stupidly look around myself for the source of it. Sniffing the air I inhale deeply as I find the source of it. Yes, I know that smell. So sweet and tantalize, it dances in my nostrils and I inhale deeper. So…incredibly, delicious, mouthwatering…virgin's blood. _

_But the only virgin I can even begin to fathom who would be in this house would be…no, it couldn't be. _

Alucard…could you come here please? _I hear her words in my mind and take a hard swallow. I had two options, one I could disobey her and get shot. Or two, I could go in there and face her. _

_Standing up, I phase my way to her. My head thick with the potent smell of her blood. My eyes were becoming blurred, I was loosing control and quickly. _

**XXX**

_"Yes, my Master?" I said, polite as I could to her. She turned to me, dressed in her normal suit except she wore a skirt rather than pants. In a year or so, she would switch to pants with a bit of push from myself. _

_"I have an assignment for you. There seems to be…" I didn't hear her, I didn't hear anything. My eyes focused on her now luscious and sexy body. The smell was so rich in the air I could not help but lick chapped lips. My eyes ran up and down the length of her body. Her throat was pulsating so wonderfully…it made me just want to rip it out. _

_"…card…Alucard…? Alucard…!" My head snapped to attention at her voice. A glare was on her face._

_"Yes, Master?" I said, not a little annoyed._

_"You've been staring at me like I'm something to eat for the past five minutes. And you just drooled all over yourself just now." She sneered at me. "Care to explain?" _

_"Why, whatever do you mean Master?" I could not let her know what I was thinking. No, I might get locked up again. But somehow, that though didn't unnerve me as much as the thought of never seeing her again. She after all was the kindest Master I had had since my capture. She refused to do further experiments on me and she rarely raised her hand to me. Once in a while a light playful punch when I teased her, but never to hurt me. _

_"You know damn well what I mean…now explain yourself vampire!" I sighed._

_"Today is the day you've finally become a woman." Integra looked at me, blank face and at lost for words to say._

_"Excuse me?" _

_"Today is the day you've finally become a woman." I repeated myself._

_"Yes, yes I heard that, but care to elaborate?"  
"When a woman has her first menstruation cycle, at least in my day-" I began, thinking how old I felt in that moment. "-They are then considered a woman and ready for marriage and childbirth." _

_I managed to duck just in time as a silver ashtray came flying my way. _

_"GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" She cried, blushing furiously. I tsk-ed at her._

_"Seems I've touched a nerve." I said smirking. "What is it, Integra? The thought of bearing a child so horrendous? Or is it the marriage part?"_

_"I said get out!" _

_"Oh come now, Master! Don't be so bashful!" I was laughing now as I dodged everything she seemed to throw at me. Tea cups, more ashtray; staplers; letter openers; ext. _

_"I am not being bashful!" But her blushing crimson face told another story. "Its just that, that's you're the last person I want to talk about to about that!" _

_"Why?" I asked, coming up to her and looming over her. Integra's neck craned up to look into my sanguine face. _

_"Because it makes me feel uncomfortable." I smirked._

_"Oh really now?" I was still smirking; she had said that a little to fast. I could hear her heart beat, practically could dance to the tune of it! She was sweating now. Why? Was it because we were so close…so very, very close._

_"What are you doing?" She asked, not out of indignation but out of sheer and startled curiosity. My hands caressed her arms lightly, running up and down the length of them. I smirked slightly when she shivered under my touch._

_"Stop." She whispered, the heat of embarrassment coming off her made me smile even wider. _

_"Do you really want me to stop?" I leaned down to her and nuzzled her neck. Inhaling deeply. "When you are bleeding so profusely, surely you need someone to take care of those wounds. Why not let it be one with so much experience in the art of blood?" _

_She pushed me away from her._

_"Hands to yourself, blood boy." Replied Integra, a spark in her azure eyes and a sardonic tone in her voice. "Or their will be one less blood boy in my life." _

_Her words stabbed at me like a wicked blade. _

Yes, those words….I remember them well. And I hated them. She had made me feel so hated in that moment. For to her I was nothing more than just a stupid vampire, lusting after her blood. This in all honesty was the truth. But what if I was lusting for something more? Something deeper? Even I didn't know.

"…Nygh…" She murmured, turning over on her side to face me. Her lids beginning to open as she stirred. My presence seemed to be awakening her. Knowing full well she needed her rest. I bended down and with a soft press of cold lips to her forehead and with a mutter of a Romanian lullaby I had her fast asleep and me looking at her…ever wistfully.


End file.
